Sunday, September 30, 2007
Pre-Christmas Thoughts

It's the last day of September, next thing we know it'll be Christmas. Everywhere I go madami na nagbebenta ng mga Christmas stuff, madami ng pre-holiday season sale. I wonder how I can make this Christmas great for Dana? I don't think I've done such a great job although I know I've tried my best. I brought her here to the Philippines because I know I won't be able to be a good mother in Canada. True that there are many more opportunities there especially for a single mother like myself pero I fear for her values kapag dun siya lumaki. Kaya lang nga kapag ganyan na holiday season, where families seem to be all together. Siya, wala yung papa niya. I've compensated with abundant and expensive gifts but I know that's not enough. I brought her to my grandma's house, may mga bata kasi dun so may mga playmates siya. She looked happy but I've always wondered if she felt complete.

I heard my dad was here in the Philippines for 10 days. I pondered the idea that I should go up to him and talk to him and just give him pictures of Dana para lang alam niya that she's doing really well and that I'm turning out to be a great mother. He'll be proud of me. He won't show it of course, daddy ko pa! Ang pride nun minsan lagpas langit eh! Akala ko nga he'll be here for Christmas, that would've been a perfect time to bring Dana to him hindi ba?

All I wish for this Christmas is that my daughter be completely happy. She's been such a good girl after all.