Sunday, September 30, 2007
Pre-Christmas Thoughts

It's the last day of September, next thing we know it'll be Christmas. Everywhere I go madami na nagbebenta ng mga Christmas stuff, madami ng pre-holiday season sale. I wonder how I can make this Christmas great for Dana? I don't think I've done such a great job although I know I've tried my best. I brought her here to the Philippines because I know I won't be able to be a good mother in Canada. True that there are many more opportunities there especially for a single mother like myself pero I fear for her values kapag dun siya lumaki. Kaya lang nga kapag ganyan na holiday season, where families seem to be all together. Siya, wala yung papa niya. I've compensated with abundant and expensive gifts but I know that's not enough. I brought her to my grandma's house, may mga bata kasi dun so may mga playmates siya. She looked happy but I've always wondered if she felt complete.

I heard my dad was here in the Philippines for 10 days. I pondered the idea that I should go up to him and talk to him and just give him pictures of Dana para lang alam niya that she's doing really well and that I'm turning out to be a great mother. He'll be proud of me. He won't show it of course, daddy ko pa! Ang pride nun minsan lagpas langit eh! Akala ko nga he'll be here for Christmas, that would've been a perfect time to bring Dana to him hindi ba?

All I wish for this Christmas is that my daughter be completely happy. She's been such a good girl after all.

Saturday, September 29, 2007
Bumper 2 Bumper and Then Some...

Automujerespinas will be participating in this event. Bumper 2 bumper is special para sa amin dahil ito ang pinakaunang car show na sumali ang AMP, last year yun. 3 months old pa lang ang AMP, 7 members pa lang yata kami. How time flies talaga diba? Now, 39 na kami at madami ng alliances and sponsors. Saya! I hope to see you guys there!

So anyhoo, there's a storm here again, Hannah is the name, tama ba? Dana was supposed to have school (make up class from when there were no classes due to storms before) pero dahil signal number 1, umuwi din kami. So now we're just chilling at home playing games. E pag naglalaro na yung bata na yun hindi na ko pinapansin. Kaya now I have time to blog.

I read Bianca's new entry sa blog niya kahapon, wow, I didn't know Angelina Jolie had a book. I am so buying it! She has gotten a lot of bad rep because of the whole "breaking up a home" thing but you know what? Nobody can deny that she does a lot of good. That she truly makes a difference. Period. Honestly, I love Jennifer Aniston, but I do not dislike (I can't possibly hate someone I don't know personally, hence the term dislike) Angelina. I think anybody with a right mind will find it hard to not like someone so actively helpful, generous and sincere.

Speaking of helping, AMP will have it's second outreach project on December 2. Sana mapasaya namin ang mga bata kahit sa konting food and toys na madadala namin. Hay! Everytime I see kids na malungkot I can't help but maiyak na. I hope it will be a smashing success! Wish us luck for the kids!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007
So Proud...

Dana received first honors for the first trimester. I am so proud. Kaya ayan binili ko ng games sa gameboy niya dahil she so deserves it diba? My baby is the coolest!

Saturday, September 22, 2007
Missing Boracay

We just got back yesterday. Eventhough there was way more rain than sun, I miss Boracay already! Here are some pictures I've managed to upload so far...I'm still trying to upload the others.



Dana in front of a sandcastle



Dana by the beach



in front of the Boracay Mandarin



in front of patio pacific



our feet



if i remember correctly, this was taken in front of fridays

We were supposed to stay at White House but because of it's location, we went ahead and tried La Carmela de Boracay. Honestly? It was fine. The room was clean. Service was great EXCEPT for this one girl in reception. We just got there, soaking wet because of the rain (the person they hired to assist us in our transfer didn't bring an umbrella!) and they didn't have our room ready. When we asked ang sabi ba naman in a pasuplada way "inaayos pa namin!" Pasalamat siya kasama ko si Dana or else I would've bitched at her! We've had the reservation for weeks! I sent them a text letting them know we were near! Pero hindi pa din nakahanda yung room! Damn! Okay lang sana eh kaya lang that CHUBBY girl had the guts to answer like that! Basang basa na kami tapos ganon pa! Hay naku tama na nga nag-iinit lang ang ulo ko. Anyway, I'm kinda sleepy pa so I'll just blog more some other time. Hope everyone is doing great.

Saturday, September 15, 2007
Help Kids Learn Project

I am so happy to have come across this project dahil sobrang importante sa akin ang edukasyon. As a mother, I can't help but fast forward and visualize what I hope my daughter's life will be like and to finish college is number one sa mga wishes ko sa kanya. Sana maging diligent siya at sana lagi siyang excited na matuto ng madaming iba't ibang mga bagay. Kaya nung nabasa ko ang goal ng project na ito, I just knew that I want to help out dahil sayang ang mga bata na gustong mag-aral pero hindi kaya. I'm planning to register a .org para sa project na ito pero siyempre pending pa yan as per the founder's decision if she wants it or not dahil I don't want to impose di ba? Sobrang saludo ako sa lahat ng tao behind this project. These are the kind of people na masarap makilala dahil may passion sila at may direksyon sa buhay. Hindi lang yun, they also help others find direction in life. Hindi ba ang saya? So to everyone
who's reading this, check it out please, napakalaking tulong ng project na ito sa mga kabataang Pilipino.

Help kids learn project website

Thursday, September 13, 2007
Happy 5th Birthday Dana!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANABEAR!

Here are some pictures we've taken today, she's in school right now so I'm taking this time to share them.



the birthday girl wearing her new crocs



dana claims that crocs are the "coolest, ugliest things ever ever ever"



some of her gifts: life jacket, speedo bathing suit, princess towel

That's all for now. I'll be occupied with Dana today.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Dana's Birthday

In 2 days, my little angel will be turning 5 na. Naiiyak na ko ngayon pa lang. Ang bilis bilis niya lumaki. I was getting her ready for school kanina and I don't know why pero naluha ako. She hugged me and asked me what was wrong. Sabi ko sa kanya wala lang, I'm just happy na siya yung baby ko. Then she said "I'm not a baby anymore mommy, I'm almost 5", hay! Dun na ko naiyak. They grow up too fast...

Sunday, September 09, 2007
Ugh!

My monthly visitor comes on Septemer 13th (yes I know when it comes, sue me!), my desmenorrhea is starting to act up and it hurts like hell. Think positive na lang! Tapos na yun by the time I have to leave for Boracay! Okay, positive thinking is so not working...

The second best gift this year

It's plane and simple, Cebu Pacific is the number 1 domestic airline...which is why they are offering over 100,000 seats for only 1 PESO (plus taxes of course) to all domestic destinations from September 7 to 11, 2007 for travel between November 1 - December 20, 2007. I just wanted to share this little tidbit to my fellow travellers at sa mga may mabubuting loob, sa Bacolod ko po gustong pumunta, libre niyo ko? Hehehe...Check it out at their website.



These are the second best gifts I got this year (yes, you may call me a nerd) and it came from Iyay, someone I love dearly. She has been giving me books as gifts lately because she knows how much I love to read! I so want to read them already kaya lang naisip ko na malapit na akong pumunta ng Boracay and I need some reading materials for when it's too hot to stay under the sun (that's if we're lucky enough to catch some rays considering it's the Habagat season). I'm light skinned at takot ako sa skin cancer kaya kahit na patung-patong ang sunblock ko na SPF 50, ayoko pa din magbabad sa araw ng tanghaling tapat. Siguro Dana and I will lounge by the hotel pool or she can nap while I read diba?

I need to sleep but I'm not sleepy. Just think, September 9 na! 10 more days at pupunta na kami sa Boracay! So excited!

Saturday, September 08, 2007
Birthday Night

We saw A Love Story starring Mr. Aga Muhlach, Ms. Maricel Soriano and Ms. Angelica Panganiban. I'm still digesting it so I can't comment on it right now. I had a bad birthday, hence, I was in a horrible mood so I couldn't enjoy the movie. I didn't want to go out but was forced. I just wanted the night over with.

So anyway, yesterday Dana and I went to Robinson's Galleria to buy her a bathing suit for our upcoming Boracay trip. That kid has expensive taste I tell you! She chose a pink Speedo suit, which looked really nice on her. I'll be sure to post our Boracay pictures when we get back.

More on yesterday, I was in line at Burger King when I suddenly heard loud, obnoxious voices behind me. Grabe! These two girls were talking at mura sila ng mura, nadidinig sila ng lahat ng tao at lalo pang nilakasan ang mga boses nila. After I had ordered and turned to take a seat, nagulat ako dahil these girls go to a "supposedly" good school which all of us know. Nakakadisappoint at nakakatakot at the same time kasi naisip ko paano na si Dana kung kahit mga exclusive schools dito ganoon na din ang mga products na students. Kaya nga ako nandito para hindi magkaron ng ganoong ugali ang anak ko tapos meron pa din pala? It's so easy to blame it on the parents pero these students spend most of their times in the schools really so who's to blame now? Ewan ko. Basta ako, I'll just do my best and hope and pray that I'm good enough to guide Dana to the good path in life. Hay! Help!

*Image of A Love Story courtesy of click the city*

Thursday, September 06, 2007
Photographs

I've neglected this blog due to the events of the past year but today is my birthday so I want to spend some time and post some pictures of what goes on in my life. Enjoy!




Dana grabbed me from the couch and asked me to take this picture, she dressed herself, those are not her clothes, sabi niya mermaid daw siya



this picture was taken at Pan de Amerikana, a restaurant in Marikina. Sabi ni Dana kalaban daw niya yung other side









pictures from first haircut: azta urban salon at robinson's metro east



her favorite baby doll named Angel



cool huh?



she loves her krispy kreme



me on the left and mara on the right at eastwood city for team amp's motoring weekend



me and gov richard at teriyaki boy, eastwood



the ladies of automujerespinas



goofing off, ginagaya ko lang si rose



teena, myself, jo-an and gia sa boracay



G, myself and Rose on the way to Volkswagen Day



songer daw ako



my princess



she wants that car



sunrise at la luz resort san juan, batangas



she loved her bangs

That's it for now na muna kasi I need to go and pick her up from school pa. We're going to Boracay for a joint birthday celebration on the 19th! Can't wait.

Daddy's Girl

I last saw my father on September 11, 2004. Last spoke to him by phone at the end of the same year. I miss him so much. You see, like most little girls, I was a bonafide daddy's girl. He was the one who stayed home helping my siblings and I with homework and other random stuff while my mother ran the business. He made sure I went to great schools. He did everything to give what he says is times 10 of what his parents gave him.

I remember people thinking na "ander" siya ng mommy ko dahil siya ang nasa bahay, I thought so too until he went out and got a job. He didn't need one, our business was going well as far as I could tell pero sabi niya dahil daw sa akin kaya siya nagwork. Tinanong ko daw kasi siya kung bakit siya ang nasa bahay e daddy siya...I was like 5. Anyway, so he worked and didn't stop there. He got a job in Singapore but went home soon after because there was no chance of immigration and being a citizen. Tapos nun sabi niya sa akin na dadalhin niya kami sa isang country na kasama sa G7 and on September 1996, off he went to Canada. My little brother and I followed a year later and those tears in my father's eyes when he first saw us at Edmonton International Airport was the first time I saw how much he loves us.

I've let him down many times and I'm ashamed to say I never made that up to him. Maybe someday I'll be able to. When that time comes that everything is right in the world, hay, not likely huh? But for today, my birthday, I am still a daddy's girls in my heart and I will be until my last breath.

Sunday, September 02, 2007
Prelude to a New Life

I will be 24 years old in a couple of days. Not young but why do I feel like a newborn? I have done many things wrong, even immoral and last week I wrote someone a letter to apologize. He is someone so good that he didn't deserve to be hurt by me. Someone I shouldn't have left. At the time I was with him I wanted him to be the one although I knew deep down that he isn't. He gave me the most precious gift I've ever received - my daughter. He was my husband and he treated me like a queen. Why this blog entry turned out to be about him, I'm not certain. I'm just typing what I feel like and I guess finally apologizing to him renewed me. When I get another year older, I will proclaim that the beginning of my new life. A life of love and learning with my daughter. I am fortunate to have the pleasure of caring for someone so intelligent, kind and beautiful who loves me inspite of my shortcomings as a mother. Who makes me laugh hysterically. Who embraces me when I'm lonely. I have always felt incomplete but with my decision to a fresh start came the realization that I have been complete for almost five years but was just asinine to not have known it all that time. To everyone I have loved, hurt and lost, I apologize profusely. To those who stuck by me I am grateful. To all I love and will love, I look forward to days of joy and sorrow, health and pain, adoration and loathe, a life worth living with all of you. Advanced happy birthday to myself and a toast for the many adventures to come.