Tuesday, November 07, 2006
She loves me

I was so into reading a magazine earlier when Dana started asking me how to spell some words. So I dictated the letters as I kept reading, half paying attention to what she was doing (she's been scribbling the whole morning since she woke up). I noticed she was silent for a while when she suddenly placed a piece of paper on top of what I was reading and it said I love you mommy. I asked her why she loves me and she just said Mahal na mahal kita e (I love you so much) and that for me is explanation enough. I had to take a picture of what she wrote down for me just to share how loving my daughter is and how lucky I am to have her.

I remember back when I was 18 and pregnant, how people would look at me with scrutiny. I knew what they were thinking. Most mothers my age know what I'm talking about. It used to make me cry because those people didn't know me. What right did they have to judge me? But then I got to thinking that I should pity them for being so narrow minded. They didn't even know that we planned on getting pregnant, we wanted her. She was not an accident.

Although Dana's father and I aren't together anymore, we've remained civil for her because we both want to be good parents. We just couldn't stay together for her sake, it would be wrong to live a life together without the same amount of love for each other. It would have been a lie. I don't regret knowing him because he's part of the reason why I have Dana. She has seen me through it all. She has been my strength and all she ever had to do was smile.

She loves me. That's all I need.